THE MIGHTY SPRINGBOK

Stef cranking the machine                                                                                                                                       Charlie

I’m basically one huge fake. I go by the name of The Urban Hunter Gather, but I’m yet to hunt anything. I’m not a massive meat eater. On a day-to-day basis I hardly ever cook meat, but on an occasion, I enjoy cooking and eating it. “I know, I know”, this is gonna sound like a cliché, but I’m one of those ous (dudes), who believes if you chomp meat, you should be prepared to’ finish off’ the living thing. I’ve done a fair amount of fishing, plenty of crayfishing, mussel picking and sporadically, I harvest and cook snails, but never have I hunted with a gun. I have to say, anything to do with guns scares me; they just don’t sit well with me. My friend Alec, on the other hand, is the opposite of me. He is a vegetarian who loves guns and digs to hunt. A few weekends ago he arrived at my spot with two skinned and gutted springbok carcasses. I hung them up outside that night. I had gruesome dreams and when I opened the curtains in the morning, there the scene of violence was staring at me again, they had to be processed and soon. My mates Ian Ian (yes, two Ian’s) and Alec came to my rescue. I wanted to photograph the process and do some educational butchering, but by the time I could set up the camera, our resident vegetarian, with a faraway look in his eyes and a knife in his hands, had just about finished the job. Ian Ian was equally as enthusiastic in the butchering department and as unaccommodating in the patience department. So there we were on a rainy Sunday, butchering, mincing, and making a giant pot a venison stock on the wood-burning stove. Within a few hours this violent scene was packaged away in the freezer and there were a few more empty bottles of red wine in the recycling bin.

Ready for laughing gear treatment                                  Mans

I think burgers are a fine way to deal with dry cuts of venison. So, Stef, my chef mate, from down the road and I hosted a burger evening, to celebrate the conclusion of Anna and my ‘worm race’ epic (that’s a storey for another day). The burgers turned out to be mighty fine. Now, it’s no secret that burgers enjoy the company of a pickle and that red meat loves bonding with hot mustard. It just so happened, that my friend Glenn kindly gave me a bottle of agave buds which he collected and pickled (awesomely yum). Seeing as the agave buds and the springbok came from the same part of the Karoo, there was no contest which pickle went into the burgers. There was also no contest which salad leaf made it into Mr. Burger, coz Alec gifted me a bunch of mustardy mustard lettuce.

THANKS DUDES, FOR ALL THE SUPPORT, GIFTS AND ENTHUSIASM.

LEMONADE

 

My Retro Juicer. It's brilliant.                                                                                                                                                     Mans

So the plan was, that I followed up my Limoncello blog with lemonade one, but I was ‘the opposite of rudely interrupted’, by a little outing to the Seychelles, which I felt I had to capitalise on blogwise, which brings me to this belated lemonade blog.  Now all 11 of you, who read the limoncello blog, know that only the peal of the lemons are used, so there are no prizes for guessing, that a good use for the rest of the lemons, is to make lemonade.

Ready for juicing                                                               mans

A simpler recipe, you’ll struggle to find. 

Pop a jug of homemade lemonade on your dinner party table and it’ll go down a treat, coz nowadays people love that kinda shit. In a pot, throw in the juice of your lemons, together with an equal amount water and sugar. Example - 1 cup lemon juice, 1cup water and 1 cup sugar. Heat the mixture up and stir until the sugar has dissolved, simmer for a minute or two and there you have your lemon cordial. Simple az zat…

I threw some of the concentrate into an ice cream machine and a rather good lemon sorbet was the result.

CREME CARAMEL

Mrs Vanilla Cow getting the good stuff out,  Island Style                                                                                Monique Mrazek

I recently spent a week in the Seychelles. Shoo man! All those hibiscuses, frangipanis and colourful plants that I don’t know the names of, make everything so vibrant and happy happy. The locals are friendly and the beaches are beyond amazing. But you know me, the first gap I got, I was off to local market, which was all about the fruit, fish and spices. Now, in your baggage, fruit gets squishy and fish gets smelly, so it was spices that made the trip back home with me. Those little reused airplane spirit bottles, on which vanilla essence was scribbled in cokey pen, were my favourite. I know, I know, ‘us snobs’ should use extract not essence, but let me tell you those bottles are a fifth of the price that Woolies charge for their extract and a zillion times more velvety, luxurious and intoxicating. Anyway, wotz the diffs between the two? All I know is that I had to do this essence justice, so I made the classic and most genius of desserts, a ‘crème caramel’. It’s classic, coz it’s looks so stylish and tastes so adult (with that touch of bitterness). It’s genius, coz it’s jolly clever how the caramelised lining of the dish dissolves and allows the pud to slide out when you do the flamboyant flip, but wot makes it most clever is it only needs four everyday ingredients.

MUM’S CLASSIC DINNER PARTY CRÈME CARAMEL

Market                                                            Charlie

Caramel
220g - white sugar
4 – tablespoon water
Heat sugar in the cold water over fairly low heat. Stir till sugar has dissolved. Allow to boil without stirring till golden brown. Remove from heat and stir well. Pour into mould, twisting mould to coat bottom and sides.
Custard 
4 - large eggs, 500ml – milk
225g – sugar 1 good dash – vanilla essence/extract


Lightly beat eggs and sugar. Warm milk, but don’t boil. Add vanilla essence and whisk into eggs. Pour into mould. Bake in a bain marie for about 40mins at 180°C. Leave to cool before doing your flamboyant flip onto a plate with a lip high enough to catch the scrummy golden syrup.

The Dessert Trolley Classic                                                                                                                                               Mans

Limoncello

                  Wash the Lemons and Bottles                 Mans

So, you have made your marmalade, but your lemons are still ‘hanging’, weighing ‘that naughty branch’ down so much that you knock your noggin every time you walk past. Surely, it’s time to lighten its load and make limoncello. The first mission is to get 90% alcohol proof from you local pharmacy. My local pharmacist broke into a huge smile when I told him I was making Limoncello and proudly told me he makes his own kosher wine. Clearly I have found the right supplier. Like many things to do with food and beverages, the longer you wait the better it turns out, so start your limoncello process now (july), so not only will you be able to walk underneath ‘that branch’ without causing damage to your pip, but by the time Christmas comes, you’ll have cool prezzies to give your adult friends.

Thin strips of peel          Mans

Wot you need

Sugar

Water

A 4l jar with a tight seal

Muslim cloth and a sieve

750ml vodka

750ml 90% proof alcohol (ignore your pharmacist when he says, ‘don’t drink it’)

About 18 lemons

750ml water

4 cups of sugar

Enough charming and funky bottles for the finished product

Wot to Do

Choose lemons with good skins and give them a wash. Peel them into long strips with as little pith a possible, pop them into your airtight jar with both alcohols and store in a cool dark place. Every couple of weeks give it stir. After a few months try ‘the peel snap test’. If the peel snaps them you can move onto making your syrup. Add the water and sugar and boil for about 5 mins and cool. while the syrup is cooling remove the peels from the alcohol and filter the alcohol through a wet cloth (muslim). Add the cooled syrup to the alcohol and pour it back into the airtight jar and store for another couple of months. Finally, pour into sterilised bottles.

When you pull out a bottle of homemade linocello after dinner, and everybody tells you how cleaver you are to have made it, it’s jolly hard not to feel rather pleased with yourself. 

                            Limoncello an after dinner winner                              Mans

My Wicked Step Mothers Lime Marmalade

                                                                                                                                                                                                  Mans

Roundabout now, when your limes are liming, your oranges are oranging, and your lemons are lemoning, it’s MARAMALADE TIME. This is how my ‘Wicked Step Mother’ taught me to do it. You can use any citrus fruit, just remember to get rid of any pips.   Oh! She is not really so wicked.

               Ailsa, My Wicked Step Mother                        Mans

Wot you need

Limes

Sugar

Water

Oil (neutral flavour. eg sunflower oil)

Jars 

How to do it

Wash your limes, then chop them to the size and texture you want, you can use a food processor. Just cover the chopped fruit with water, (you can leave it overnight, some say it releases more pectin). Gently simmer the mixture. While it is slowly bubbling away, pour an equal amount of sugar as the simmering fruit mix into a baking tray and pop it into a 100°c oven, so the sugar can heat through (this sneaky trick will keep your marmalade clear). When you can easily squish the fruit rinds between your fingers, you can take the mixture off the heat. Now add the warm sugar to the mixture and stir until dissolved. This is a good time to sterilise the jars by popping them into the oven, which is still on. Once the sugar has all dissolved return the pot to the heat and simmer, stirring occasionally. Don’t worry to skim the scum, coz you can deal with it later, but do worry about putting a plate in the freezer, for the ‘coldplatewrinkeltest’. After about 12 mins of gentle bubbling you can try it, you may have to repeat the test a few times. You do this by dropping a blob the marmalade onto the cold plate, leave it for a minute or two, then push it with your finger, if your marmalade wrinkles, it will set. This means it’s time to take it off the heat, and now deal with the scum. When the mixture stops bubbling, pour a splash of any cooking oil into the pot and stir until the scum miraculously disappears. Finally, using a ladle or small jug pour the marmalade into the warm jars. The most challenging part is to see if you can wait long enough for it to cool, before you chomp it on hot buttered toast.

                                                                                                                                                                                                      Mans

Stinging Nettle and Ricotta Ravioli

Gathering Edibles in District Six

Glueing the little fellows 

Ready for the pot

I was sitting in our office, all grumpy coz my ‘Braai Buddy, Dave and I didn’t make the final fifteen in ‘The Ultimate BraaiMatser’, when Mans said, “come, let’s shoot something”. I heaved a heavy sigh and reluctantly agreed. Stef, my chef mate, from just down the road and I had made stinging nettle ravioli, from the nettles in his garden about a week before. I rang Stef to tell him we were going to clean up his garden, but he told me his gardener had got there first. It seemed it wasn’t to be my day. Mans, with camera in hand was all amped, so I dragged my sorry arse off to his car and off we headed in search of some local stinging nettles. Mans suggested we start off foraging underneath a beautiful mural nearby, coz it was ‘photogenic’. When we got there, my day started to take a turn for the better, not only were there heaps of nettles but other edibles too. In this small patch, we found Nettles, Mint, Fennel, Cape Sorrel, and Purslane. With a glimmer of a smile, I covered my hand with a plastic bag to avoid the ‘dreaded ichies’ and plucked enough for our lunch. With the some fresh pasta dough left over from the night before I made ‘Urban Hunter Gatherer Stinging Nettle and Ricotta Ravioli’ served with a simple garlic, lemon zest, olive oil and oregano gremolata. Once again my smile was so big, that if I didn’t have ears my whole head would be an island.

Enjoy the fragrant taste and tingling mouth.

Yummy

STINGING NETTLE AND RICOTTA FILLING

Equal parts ricotta and wilted stinging nettles (about ½ a cup of each)

A sprinkle of oregano or marjoram

A nubbin of butter

A grating of nutmeg

A few generous pinches of parmigiano reggiano

Salt and pepper to taste.

Ghazala's Proper Chicken Kebabs

My Favourite, Chicken Tikka with Roti                                                                                                                                   Mans

Our offices are in Walmer Estate, just one block away from the best fast food joint around, so on a regular basis my business partner, Mans (also “The Urban Hunter Gatherer’s” food photographer) and I enjoy, what Ghazala’s Food and Café has to offer. We are typical boring middle-aged men, who always end up ordering the same old thing. The Chicken Tikka Kebabs are ridiculously delicious. I like mine with the very green dhania sauce.

Fresh from Pakistan, Tanvee secured a piece of pavement outside a dilapidated corner café. He set up an authentic charcoal griller and started a neighbourhood fast food stand; making grilled chicken pieces, chicken kebabs and 'boerie rolls'. Now, a few years down the track Tanvee has taken over the corner café and has given it a facelift, but kept its authenticity and called it Ghazala’s Food and Cafe. The café stocks basic household stuff, but it is the take away food that makes this spot very special.

Getting my Laughing Gear around my Favourite         Mans

On Fridays and Sunday Ghazala’s sell well over seven hundred portions of mouth watering bryani, for which customers are happy to drive form Durbanville to get their quota. Of course they also serve the Cape Town classic, a Gatsby. It’s even  worth a visit just for the fried chips.

So if you work in town, it’s only a few minutes drive to a fantastic 'pavement' or ‘take back to the office’ lunch, and if you are in the hood on a sunday, don’t forget about the bryani. Hell man, even if you live in Baufort West, it’s worth 'the bryani drive', to Ghazala's Food and Cafe on the corner of Park Road and Coronation Road in Walmer Estate. Just be prepared to stand in a queue, or you can pre order on 021-4485270.

Tanvee, a Scholar and a Gentleman                                                                                                                                         Mans