TAKE STOCK

A chicken stock, perfect for braises, risottos, stews and soups                                                                             Me

Nothing beats a good stock, it can really make a dish. Homemade stocks are definitely best, but I‘m not one of those who turns their nose up at a stock cube, if that’s all you have time for, I say, ‘go for it’.

I can’t have my say about stock without having a giggle at my friend Anton’s expense.

Anton is a gentle giant who is as down to earth as a bloke can get.  When it comes to a chow, he is also pretty down to earth, the type who doesn’t get caught up in all that fancy food malarkey.

One fine day, Anton thought, ‘today is a good day to make my first stock’. Now Anton had heard that the longer the bones bubble away, the more intense the flavour would be. So Anton patiently let the stock simmer away and every now and then he would add a bit more water. Such was Anton’s patience and desire for perfection, that one fine day, turned into two fine days, but the third day was the opposite of fine, coz when flavours had intensified to a ridiculous deliciousness, Anton prepared for the final process. He placed a colander in the sink, and with excitement was reaching fever pitch, he tilted the stockpot over the strainer and poured the precious liquid down the drain and kept the bones. What a silly man!

This is my Basic Stock Recipe.

Wot you need

- any one of the following: chicken carcass/crayfish shells/whatever bones are left after Sunday’s roast / fish skeleton, heads, tail and fins / tough mushroom stems – you get the point (if you have got a section of white wine left over for the party the night before pour it in too, or half a lemon, use up whatever is around, but do AVOID potatoes, turnips, butternut - basically anything that will make the stock cloudy. Also DON’T add any of the Brassica family broccoli, cabbage and cauliflower, coz long cooking makes them stink.)

-  water

- 1 large carrot sliced

- 1 head of sliced celery, leaves and all

- 1 large onion chopped

- a few cloves of garlic

- 1 leek sliced (only, if you’ve got)

- a couple of bay leaves

- a sprig of thyme

- about 8 whole peppercorns

- some parsley, stalks and all (only, if you’ve got)

- a few bay leaves

A crayfish stock, so good in chicken pot roast.            Me

Wot to do

 If you want to go the extra mile, roast the bones in the oven at 180°c for about 20mins, but it’s no train smash if you don’t. Chuck all the ingredients into a large pot (if you don’t have all the ingredients, don’t worry, coz the sun will still rise tomorrow, and in any case, it’s your stock and you make the rules) and pour in water until everything is well covered.  Bring to a simmer and spoon off the scum when necessary. Simmer for a few hours, if you have got the time, or less, if you don’t. If you are making a fish stock don’t simmer for longer than 20 mins, coz it’ll go cloudy. You may need to add a bit more water, if it’s looking a bit dry. When you get the feeling that ‘it’s time’, strain through a sieve. Just remember to catch your precious liquid, which you can refrigerate or freeze until needed.

SPAGHETTI CARBONARA

Stir like crazy                                                                                                                                                              Mans

This is a really useful recipe to know, coz most kitchens will have the necessary. It’s a perfect dish for when you are tiered and lazy, or when you have to make a quick plan to feed unexpected guests. It’s especially great for when you and your mates come home at daybreak, after a bender, coz it’s immediate and a bit like eating a bacon and egg breky.

I’m about to go off on a tangent again, so skip to the recipe if you find me boring. This storey features the Legendary E-man, who is always having key epics.

A couple of mates and I were on some or other mission, when we arrived to collect the E to join us; he excitedly opened the door, only to discover that he had lost the keys to the security gate. It wasn’t long before fold up chairs and tea was passed through the gaps in the gate and we were having a splendid time, the E on one side of the gate and the three of us on the other.

Now a person can only drink so much tea, so we sensibly moved onto beer and started having an even better time. Soon our ‘hungies’ started hanging out, so E disappeared into the kitchen and it wasn’t long before he reappeared with bowls of steaming Spaghetti Carbonara. Our great excitement quickly turned to intense disappointment, when we realised the bowls couldn’t fit through the gate’s vertical slots. I had this disturbing vision of a very happy and fat E on the one side of the gate and a very miserable and skinny, three of us on the opposite side.

Unfazed, the ever Zen E, tipped all the pasta back into the pan, turned the bowls sideways, posted them through the slots and preceded to dish up through the gate. A carbonara is yet to taste so good.

That’s the thing about the E, he takes life’s bothers with a light and loving heart and soon those hiccups turn into the most delightful adventures. I can’t wait for him to loose his keys again.

Wot you'll need                                                                                       Mans

This is how the E-man taught me to make a Spaghetti Carbonara for 4-6 people

Wot you need

- Box (500g) of spaghetti

- A glug of olive oil

- 8/10 slices of bacon/pancetta (there are no rules, throw in more if you want)

-  About 4 eggs lightly beaten with a fork

- Grated pecorino/parmigano cheese (pecorino is preferable)

- Chives/parsley (optional - chives always go down well with eggs and bacon)

- Salt and pepper to taste

 Wot to do

Get a generous pot of water with plenty of salt on the go for the spaghetti. While it’s waiting to boil, chop up your bacon/pancetta into little pieces and fry them with a glug of olive oil, on a low heat. When the pasta water is boiling, add the spaghetti and give it a good stir to stop it from sticking. Turn off the pan, when the bacon/pancetta is crispy. About now, the pasta should be close to aldente, when it is, schnabb with some tongs or a one of those spaghetti spoon thingies and put in the bacon/pancetta pan. Don’t fuss if the pasta isn’t well drained, coz you want a bit of pasta water. Pour in the eggs and stir like crazy. The trick is to get the temperature of the pan just right – if it’s too hot, the eggs will scramble, if it’s too cold, you’ll have the unpleasant business of dealing with runny raw eggs. Add some pasta water, a little at a time and the cheese, until the dish is creamy but not watery. It might take you a go or two, to figure the dish out, but once you do, you’ll be proudly puffing out you chest every time. (It’s definitely worth botching it up a few times before you get it right). Finally mix in the chives/parsley.

Don’t dilly-dally when you make this dish, coz it getz cold in the blink of an eye, so get it to the table pronto.

THE EVOLUTION OF THE HEALTH GRENADE

The Health Grenade - 'an explosion of goodness'                                                                                                            Charlie

 Me mate Stef and I, were on a little Sunday foraging outing under the expert guidance of Tracy Armbruster. Tracy was educating us on edible and medicinal plants. (Look for Tracy Armbruster on facebook – she offers regular foraging outings and other exciting ‘stuff’ too). Anyhow, it was on such an outing, that as we passed a huge patch of nasturtiums, Chef Stef suggested it would be a cool idea to make some ‘wraps’ with the big nasturtium leaves. "What a jolly good idea", I thought, while been slightly annoyed that I hadn't thought of such a cleaver thing myself. It wasn’t long before the first prototype was produced. We decided that, the sweetness of raw carrot and beetroot would take off the peppery edge of the nasturtium leaf, that a thin slither of spring onion would add an oniony flavour, without being overpowering and that a slice of avo would give it some body and a subtle smoothness, that only avo can give (man, I love avos, they go, with pretty much everything). Our first prototype was wrapped up ‘dolmades style’, the flavours worked, they were fresh, crunchy and gave you a feeling, that if you ate enough of them, you could heal just about any ailment you might be suffering from, or might ever suffer from. We tried a few dipping sauces and found that a sweet chilli, and a mix of soy and sour fig syrup (a simple sugar syrup will do the trick) were best with our little nasturtium nuggets. Our only problem was sealing our little parcels. That problem was soon solved, when our cleaver and practical mate, Ian Ian suggested, we tie them closed with a strip of sliced spring onion or a chive. Again, I was slightly annoyed that Ian Ian had come up with such a cunning idea and I hadn’t. When I told Stef about Ian Ian’s idea, which I probably claimed it as my own, he suggested we should leave the sides open, so that the contrasting colours of the carrot, beetroot, spring onion and the avo would be exposed in all their vibrant glory. "Just for once, why couldn’t I have been the cleaver one?" It wasn’t long before my big moment came, I figured that if you picked the leaves and left on a long stem, you could use that, with which to tie your nasturtium parcel closed. So that was it - my 'amazing' contribution in the evolution, of what is now called, The Health Grenade.

The Health Grenade in 'expert rolling hands'                                       Moose

The thing about a Health Grenade, is that in the dead of winter, when the dreaded colds and flues are doing their rounds, so to are all the necessary Health Grenade ingredients. Of course, having said that, you can pop whatever fits into a nasturtium leaf, to form whatever ‘grenade’ fits your fancy – smoked salmon and crème fresh is rather good, I might add.

A FEW FINE SPOTS

Sharing a moment with a local on the way to Atlas Trading in the Bokaap                                                                      Mans

Part of being an urban hunter-gatherer, is hunting down jolly fine outlets from which to buy your chow. Supermarkets are not my favourite places. I do acknowledge that they are annoyingly convenient and that I do frequent them - boooo, for me. When I walk out of supermarket, there usually isn’t a spring in my step, however there are other more charming options out there, where you can get quality produce for a good price and leave all bouncy and smiley, wotz more; you don’t end up with a mound of horrible, ugly, ugly packaging. Wherever you live these spots are out there, you just have to hunt them down.

Lucy filming in Atlas, with 'The Dood' lurking            Mans

There is massive range of spices at Atlas                       Mans

In Cape Town two of my favourite spots are Atlas Trading and Fargo Trading; I buy all my spices, pulses, grains, nuts, dried fruit and a whole bunch of other stuff from these two places. I first came across Atlas Trading when I was living in the Bokaap. It’s on Wale Str above Buitengracht Str, on the right, as you head up the hill. It’s a beautiful and nostalgic experience when you visit Atlas. You order at one window, pay at the next and then collect at the dispatch counter. Your goodies are usually scooped from wooden tea chests and poured into brown paper bags, which in the blink of an eye are folded skilfully and snugly by some dude. After a sneaky snack on the way home, never have I quite managed to reseal the packet of dried mangos/pistachios as neatly and tightly as ‘The Dood’ does, so I always get bust. Sometimes the goodies you buy can take on a generic incense smell, which is all charming and romantic, but there are times it would be better if it weren’t there. It’s worthwhile to ask for a little taste of what you are going to buy, just to check, that it hasn’t been lying at the bottom of a tea chest for too long. This place, I love.

On Malta Road in Salt River is Fargo Trading, this is the spot I go to most. Once you manage to wrestle past the thick plastic strips that cover the entrance you’ll find an authentic shop with a huge variety of quality products at very good prices. Just remember to ignore the white packets of MSG and go for the other stuff, like their thick rolled oats, the ones I just can’t seem to get anywhere else, coz these days every damn thing has to be instant, so only ‘thinly rolled’ are what’s on supermarket selves. Fargo’s chuncky oats are perfect for my ‘Damn Fine Granola’ recipe.

Yipppeee, Fargo has got oats that aren't instant                                                                                                                      Mans

For fresh produce, there is The Salt River Market’, which is pretty much off Salt River Circle, by the time you have driven a few times around the circle, you’d have figured it out. The regular fruit and veg, isn’t always a good deal though. It’s the stuff that’s just come into season, that I like to buy, like beautiful cress, rocket and asparagus and all for a good price. It’s also the spot to get unusual and exotic fruit and veg. ‘Fancy foodie stuff’ like, duck and quail eggs are also a volleyball, if it’s not here, you probably won’t find it in Cape Town. They are the same traders that have a stand at the Biscuit Mill on Saturday mornings. So remember they are just down the road from the Biscuit Mill and are open every weekday.  

A bit of banter at The Salt River Market                                                   Mans

It's gotta be autumn, coz there're pomegranates                                          Mans

After visiting any of these three spots, carrying you bags and boxes of goodies from the car to the kitchen won’t feel like the worst chore on the planet.

FRESH PASTA

'Old School Style Fettucini'                                                                                                                                                         Mans

For me, pasta is the definitive Italian chow. Only when I spent time with my Italian mate The  E-Man, did I start to check out the loving and simple approach Italians have towards food.

Here I go on another tangent...

My dad loved food more than just about anybody I know. He would love eating just about anything, anything but Italian food, which he would eat, but he didn’t love eating it, coz he didn’t like Italians. My Pop was the most kind natured and non-judgemental person ever, but I’m sure that was coz he saved all his horriblenss for the Italians. Maybe he was just grumpy that he didn’t win a medal for yachting at the Rome Olympics. He was the only person I knew, who would get a long face at the suggestion of a quick bite at a Pizzeria and this was, coz it was Italian (I mean, wotz not to love about Pizza). Anyhow, I think I have gone a long way to restoring a respectable relationship between the Standing’s and the Italian Nation. I love their simple and unpretentious food. From the way I’m going on you might think that I know an awful lot about all that is Italian, sadly this is not so. Most of what I know comes from Eugenio, aka The E-Man. Again, how he got his name, is a storey for another day.

Ian Ian, 'The Pasta Processing Unit'                                                           Mans

Making fresh pasta is not as big a mission as you may think. Nearly all kitchens have what you’ll need, and that is, flour, eggs and a pinch of salt. There are more complicated recipes around, but this one works just fine, for me. Ok, a pasta machine might be helpful, but lets face it, most middle class western kitchens have one proudly displayed somewhere on their shelves. My culinary mate Ian Ian, had one displayed in pride of place in his kitchen for about 2 years before he actually used it, but once he did, there has been no stopping him. He is now a pasta processing unit. Anyway, you don't even need a machine. If you are making it for only 2 people, I think it’s quicker to make it by hand and way more impressive. Usually when there are just 2 of you, being IMPRESSIVE is rather important.  All you need is a flat surface and a rolling pin, but a wine bottle will do just fine. 'Come on, go try make some right now. I DARE YOU."

Ingredients

- 1 egg per 2 people

- about 2 handfuls (more or less 100g of flour, duppio 00 is best, but white bread flour will do just fine)

- 1 pinch of salt.

How to make the dough

Break the eggs into a large mixing bowl and add the flour a bit at a time while stirring until you have loose dough. Now its time to get stuck with your hands. Sprinkle the work surface with flour and get kneading, this is my favourite part. You may want to add a bit more flour if it’s too sticky, or a bit of water if it is too dry. Give the dough a solid working over, until its soft, shiny and pliable. Cover it with a damp cloth or cling film and pop it in the fridge to rest for about 20 mins. Now it’s ready for rolling, or you can save it for another day. It’ll keep in the fridge for few days
Fettuccine, the ‘old school way

Making Fettuccine 'old School'.                               Mans

Chop about an inch thick slice off your dough, and cover the rest til you need it. This'll stop it from drying out. Dust the surface and your slice with flour to stop it sticking to everything - don't hold back with the dusting. Now, roll it out with your 'rolling pin', keep lifting and turning it, to stop the 'dreaded stick'. When you dough sheet is as thin as you patience allows, dust the top of it and fold in half, repeat this til your folded pasta is a manageable size to slice into 1/4 inch pieces. Give the little sliced pasta nuggets a joyful jiggle to separate them. Cook them straight away, or if you want to cook them later, hang them up, so they don't stick together. When it's time, chuck them into boiling water for about 5 mins, or til they are just tender.

'New School Style' getz it a lot thinner. Old school or New School? It'z your choice.                                                Mans

SNOEK

Come hell or high water, we are gonna have fun                                                                                                                Mans

For me a Snoek is the quintessential Cape Town meal, it embodies all that is Cape Town. Everyone who lives here, knows what a Snoek is, but for those of you who don’t, it is a ‘Barracuda like’ looking fish (with vicious finger removing teeth) It’s actually no relative, but they are referred to in NZ and OZ as Barracouta. I know it’s all a bit confusing, but that’s just the way it is, so lets move on.

A yummy no frills chomp                              Mans

Nobody likes a ‘pap (mushy) Snoek’, not even me. So to avoid any ‘papness’ don’t get any during the months that have an R in them (the hot months). Anyhow, it was during one of the months, without an R that Ian Ian and I decided, coz it was such an awesome day, we would go for a sail on Deep Magic, our friend, Mark Mark’s yacht. With excitement bubbling over, we fired up the engine, so we could motor out of the harbour before we set the sails. Our bubbling excitement turned to a simmering excitement, when we found that the throttle cable had snapped. So like all good engineers Ian Ian pointed and explained what had to be done, while I sardined myself into the engine compartment and covered myself with grease. Under instruction, I managed to jury rig the cable with some dental floss. Excitement was again bubbling over, only for it to soon to return to a simmer, coz now the motor would rev, but the boat was still not going anywhere. We were as ‘pap’ as a Snoek caught in February. Our excitement was stone cold, but hey, come hell or high water we were going to have fun.  So it was decided, coz we were at the harbour and the fishing boats were coming in, we would have a Snoek Braai (barbeque) on the mooring. It was a no frills affair, apart from the fish, everything was bought at the local café. Government issue white bread, iceberg lettuce, mayo, tomatoes, and, of course the classic apricot jam, butter and garlic baste. Soon our excitement returned to the boil and we were chomping down yummy Snoek sarmies, while listening to squawking gulls and the familiar sounds the yachts rigging tinkling in the breeze. Who needs a working vessel to enjoy a good chomp on the ocean anyway?

The engineer with a clean white shirt                                Mans

The finale garnish to our storey, 'the cherry on the top', one may say, happened a month or two later, when Mark Mark took Deep Magic out of the water for maintenance and discovered why we weren’t going anywhere. The naughty propeller had fallen off.

Just the way we like it                                                                                   Mans

SHROOMS MAN

How Brilliant & Organic is That ?                                                                                                                                      Charlie

There is nothing quite like a shroom, where else do you get such earthiness? Ok, maybe a truffle, but they’re generally not ‘a volleyball’ to an ordinary bloke like me. About a year ago my old mate Ross introduced me to mushroom foraging and as a result I have eaten heaps of the beauties. I’ve also tried a bunch of recipes, all of which have made me puff out my chest with pride and delight. ‘Then again you would have to try rather hard to make them anything but delicioso’, said I, with my chest deflating ever so slightly.

The King Of Shrooms Drying                                         Mans

Each mushy has it’s own character and needs to be treated slightly differently. The robust Pine Ring is one of my faves, you’ll need to cook them a bit longer than most, remember to chop the stalks up fine, coz they can be tough (or use them to make a mushy stock). Pickled Pine Rings preserved in olive oil make an impressive homemade antipasti. Then there’s ‘The King of All Mushrooms’, The Porcini/Cep/Penny Bun/Boletus Edulis, whatever you call them, they’re magnificent. I think they are best dried, coz that’s when that umami taste really intensifies (now look at what you all have made me do, I’m drooling, dammit). The Porcini’s are
easy to dry and will last right though til the next season. They are your kitchen’s trump card, ready to be rehydrated with white wine or water and popped into just about any dish, or you can simply try ‘mushing’ them up and use as seasoning. The mind boggles at the possibilities. Just make sure that you pick the right ones, coz the mind might boggle in a way you don’t want it to, or not… On a serious note, please take care coz, there are some real nasty’s lurking in the woods, so nasty that the tables could turn on you and YOU could end up as mushroom food. IF YOU DON’T KNOW WOT IT ITZ, DON’T EAT IT.

Thanks for the guidance Ross.

The Orignal Hunter Gatherer, The Ross Man                                       Charlie