THE DELICIOUS MONSTER

A relaxed vibe at The Delicious Monster - We are getting closer to opening…….                                                  Lauren

Some of you may be wondering whatever happened to Stef and my ‘café style’ deli called ‘Sour Fig’, which I wrote a blog about a while back. Well, the name has been abandoned, but not the project. We are incrementally still plodding along on our mission, when time and funds are available. We are delighted to announce the quirky new name is ‘THE DELICIOUS MONSTER’, named after the rather yummy fruit, which is common in many of our suburban gardens, yet is seldom eaten.

We are not open for business yet, but we have hosted a few events in the style that we are hoping to operate, which is to be as sustainable as possible. We intend to use locally grown (within the neighborhood) and foraged produce where possible. We also have a zero waste policy.

Our visiting academic friend Lauren Biermann gave us a good kick up the butt (which we so richly deserved to get our shit together) when she suggested we host a farewell party for her and about 40 foodie friends at the Delicious Monster. The deal was that she would cover the cost of the meal as well as cover the event with her wonderful photographic skills: a deal we were all happy with.

Just as were scratching our heads about what the menu should be, the familiar squawk of a ‘vuzuzela’ came up with the answer. You see, in Walmer Estate, the neighborhood of The Delicious Monster’ there is a traditional ‘Snoek (a local and sustainable fish) bakkie’ (pick up truck) that does its rounds selling fresh fish to the residents. The ‘vuzuzela’ (a plastic horn made famous / infamous during the FIFA Football World Cup in South Africa) has replaced a piece of dried hollow kelp, which was traditionally blown to let the neighborhood know that snoek was for sale. (See my past snoek blog - http://theurbanhuntergatherer.blogspot.com/2012/08/snoek.html)

Anyhow, back to the menu. So we decided that ‘braaied’ (barbequed) snoek and a vegetarian Bobotie (South Africa’s national dish) would be a great main course. Both dishes are classics of the area. 

THE MENU

Starter: 

A Mezze Platter of Foraged Goodies

Bread

Olives

Nasturtium pesto

Pickled pine ring mushrooms

Main:

Braaied Snoek with a gooseberry (from my garden) basting or Bobotie.

Served with -

Samphire

A foraged salad of wild cress, wild sweet peas and sliced bulrush

Tomato and basil salad (from my garden)

Potatoes

Dessert:

Baklava with foraged green fig syrup and homemade yoghurt.

http://theurbanhuntergatherer.blogspot.com/2012/12/honey-beez-yoghurt-and-baklava.htm

The local 'snoek bakkie' complete with 'vuvuzela'                           Ian Ian

I love watching the experts dealing with fish                                      Ian Ian

The 'snoek bakkie' with The Delicious Monster in the background  Ian Ian

Stef and Ian Ian (a snoek expert himself - see above snoek link)                                          Lauren

What a pic! Foraging fennel flowers for garnishing the snoek                                                                                    Lauren

Samphire time …                                                                                   Lauren

Samphire (awesome pic, Lauren)                                                                                                                                         Lauren

Garden gooseberries together with butter and garlic make a great snoek-basting sauce                                      Lauren

Beautifully cooked snoek with a samphire and fennel flower garnish   Lauren

Wrestling with the bullrushes                                                          Lauren

A slice of yummy bullrush                                                                Lauren

A happy Stef foraging wild watercress for our salad                                                                                                   Lauren

Tomatoes and basil from my garden                   Lauren

Some of the bounty                                                                                 Lauren

The UHG on his mission                                                                   Lauren

Wild sweet pea shoots and peas for the salad                                                                                                                   Lauren

These wild sweet peas were so yummy                                              Lauren

Drinking water from Newlands spring   Lauren

A casual evening - just how we like it                                                                    Lauren

Brown lentil and butternut bobotie                                                     Lauren    

Green figs, green for the picking                                                            Mans

Green figs on their way to being preserved                                             UHG

The baklava process                                      Lauren

The happy mob getting stuck in                                                                                                                                           Lauren

Finally as massive thanks to Mans, Ian Ian and especially Lauren for the fantastic pics.

BANANA BREAD AND THE YELLOW POLICEMAN

My sister Carro (aka Bee) on a recent baking mission. She is the ultimate in authentic retro. Bless her…      UHG

This recipe comes from the very heart of Banana Land, from someone who has bananas in their blood. This I know because he happens to be stark raving bananas. His name is Greg, aka Gregorius: he is my brother in-law. Ever since I have known Gregorius, he has always had a few banana trees in his garden.

A good banana tree will produce about 400 bananas, so that surely means Gregorius must know an awful lot about dealing with piles of bananas. What better recipe to follow than his one, passed down from his late father Nevil.

Those mushy brown bananas that have passed their best are the perfect ones to use. This recipe requires no baking powder, which I think is rather clever.

Bananas for a double batch & the 50 year old beater  UHG

WHEN TO PICK A BUNCH

Gregorius says:

“Things grown in your garden at home have nothing to do with yellow being ripe. If you waited for a paw paw / papaya [he has got plenty of these trees in his garden too] to be completely yellow before you picked it, you would find it to be virtually vrot [rotten]. That is, if the birds haven’t beaten you to it, because a bird knows a thing or two about ripeness. A slightly yellow paw paw is the perfect breakfast one. Likewise a bunch of bananas: there are a gazillion [400] bananas in a good bunch, so you want to chop them off at exactly the right time. How do you know when is the right time?

The ‘policeman’ comes to tell you. From the time the sharp edges of the bananas start to round you must cast a beady eye over them every day, until - lo and behold - one banana of the bunch turns yellow. That is the ‘policeman’ telling you to start greasing your bread tins.”

A retro way of 'chopping' nuts                                    UHG

    WHAT YOU NEED

    125g        butter

    225g        caster sugar

    2              large eggs

    25ml        yogurt / sour milk

    1tsp         vanilla essence

    6              ripe bananas

    50g          chopped nuts

    250g        flour (sifted)

    1tsp          bicarbonate of soda

    1 pinch     salt

WHAT TO DO

Cream together the butter, caster sugar, eggs, yoghurt/sour milk and vanilla essence. Fold in mashed bananas and chopped nuts. Fold in flour, bi-carb and salt. Spoon into a well-greased baking tin and bake for 45 mins at 180 degrees C, or until a knife comes out clean when pressed into the loaf. A fine cup of tea is the perfect accompaniment.

Gregorius & Carro                     UHG

Banana smashing                     UHG

In goes the sour milk (Amasi) UHG

Left over cherries made it into the mix UHG  

WYNANDT AND THE DELICIOUS MONSTER (MONSTERIA DELICIOSA)

I couldn't wait to get stuck into Wynandts wonderful creation                                                                                     UHG

Wynandt Van Rooyen is a young up-and-coming chef, who one day could become a rock star in the culinary world. When it comes to food, he is passionate, daring, knows the basics very well and he cares for our planet. He is all this and what’s more, he is an intrepid hunter of the elusive Delicious Monster.

Too green for chomping              UHG

Finally a ripe one UHG

The giant punctured leaves of the tropical plant, Monsteria Deliciosa, are characteristic of suburban Cape Town. They seem to ‘jungelate’ every other domestic garden. The Monsters that lurk on the verges between the high garden walls and public roads are the ones that Wynandt, our fearless monster hunter, is after. If they are so common, you might wonder, why are they so elusive? Well, to find a ripe fruit can prove to be a little tricky. You have a better chance of smelling a ripe one before you see it. They are the same size and shape as a ‘mealie’ (South African ‘corn on the cob’) and they have kernels like a ‘mealie’, but their flesh is sticky, juicy and oh so sweet. The ‘delicious’ part is that they taste like a mixture of banana and pineapple; the ‘monster’ part is that the fruit can have these little black husks that stick into your tongue and the inside of your mouth and leave you feeling a bit like you have eaten an angry cheese grater… so approach with caution!

 A HUGE and proud 'Monsteria deliciosa' leaf                                                                                                                      UHG

For this reason Wynadt’s yummy creation uses only the juice, combined with white rum. TropicallyPineapplyBananaryRummy, what more could you want on your crêpe?

WHAT YOU NEED FOR THE CRÊPES (Serves 6)

2/3 cup flour

1 cup milk

1 egg

A pinch of salt

Batter time                                                                          UHG

WHAT DO TO

Using a whisk or fork, combine all the ingredients in a mixing bowl. You want the smooth batter to be the consistency of pouring cream, so add a little more milk if you need. It’s good to let the batter chill in fridge for a while (overnight is best). It does thicken up while in the fridge, so you may have to add even more milk. Wipe some oiled kitchen paper over your frying pan. Place the pan over medium heat and ladle in just enough batter to cover the base of the pan, pour off any excess batter back into the bowl. When you are able to lift the crêpe without tearing it, flip it and lightly cook the other side. Place on a plate and repeat, to make a pile. (The first crêpe usually comes out a bit scruffy and should be chomped immediately by the cook with whatever sweet goodies are at hand.) Your little heap of crêpes can be covered, kept in the fridge and heated surreptitiously in a microwave oven (did I say microwave?!) when required to impress anticipating guests. Just remember to cough when it pings.

Kernels ready for squishing      UHG

Moster juice; delicious!              UHG

WHAT YOU NEED FOR THE SAUCE

The juice of 1 delicious monster fruit

1 tablespoon of white sugar

A splash of water

A glug of white rum

 A generous knob of butter

WHAT TO DO

Squish and squeeze the juice of the succulent kernels of the delicious monster through muslin cloth into a bowl. Sprinkle the sugar into a small frying pan over a medium heat, splashing just enough water to wet the sugar. When the sugar starts to caramelize, glug in the rum and flambé. Pour in the monster juice and reduce until it coats the back of a spoon. Add the butter and stir until it’s incorporated. The shiny caramely sauce is now ready to be drizzled over the crêpes, which you have placed like little ‘wet rags’ (a Nigella-ism) on a platter.

Fireworks are always entertaining                                                           UHG

Reduce until the sauce coats the back of a spoon                                    UHG

Wynandt, the fearless MONSTER hunter with his bounty                   UHG

That is seriously YUM                                                                                                                                                       UHG

SHITAKE 'BOMBING'

The mysterious 'Hooded Scavenger' ('HS') goes about his work                                                                                           UHG

Recently I was lucky enough to be invited to a mushroom growing workshop by none other than Gary Goldman ‘The Mushroom Guru’ himself and his scientifically-minded mate Craig Fourie. Together they ran an informative, practical, yet casual workshop on how to grow shitake and oyster mushrooms. During the workshop we each prepared two logs, which we hope will sprout scrumptious shitake mushies in anything from six to eighteen months. Instant gratification it is not.

Almost ready for the pan     The Mushroom Guru

The result of much patience  The Mushroom Guru

So, basically what one has to do is to get yourself a recently-felled oak log (oak is best), drill a bunch of holes in it about a fist distance apart, tap shitake-inoculated dowels into each hole, seal with wax and wait and wait and wait … I believe the bigger the log, the longer the wait, but once the log starts producing it will do so for longer.

I got so excited by this whole endeavor that I immediately rushed off and bought 500 dowels from Gary. Now, 500 dowels equals a lot of oak logs and I soon found out that freshly cut oak logs are not easy to come by.

A friend had told me that a large oak tree had been blown over in a public space where he goes jogging. A plan started turning over in my head: this was a job for my mysterious mate ‘The Hooded Scavenger’. Anyhow my hooded friend consulted with his friends and his friends’ friends, and we were all assured that no environmental nastiness would result from this cunning plan. With any luck, just basket loads of delicious mushies. I mean, how bad can that be?

'HS' smacking in a Shitake-inoculated dowel (after many finger bashings, he changed to a rubber mallet)              UHG

Now, you might have heard of ‘guerrilla gardening’ where kindly folk create gardens in public spaces, so as to brighten up the area with flowers and edible plants. There is also ‘seed bombing’ where for the same reason seeds are scattered about. So ‘The Hooded Scavenger’ and a few of his friends headed off to the fallen oak, armed with a battery-operated drill, a packet of shitake-inoculated dowels, a few candles and a great deal of stealth (bar the whining drill and smacking mallet) and went about ‘spawn bombing’ some sawed logs from the fallen oak.

Only time will tell if his plan is really one of great cunning…

A huge thanks to Craig and Gary for sharing their knowledge so generously.

Please refer to their website (www.mushroomguru.co.za) for info on mushroom and future workshops.

Isn't that nature thingy brilliant?                                         The Mushroom Guru

NASTURTIUM 'CAPERS'

A UHG Spaghetti Puttanesca. So foraged, so simple, so delicious                                                                                   Zam

If you take a little stroll around Cape Town’s leafy neighborhoods during winter you are bound to come across pockets of rambling nasturtiums. Man, they are everywhere! When the dry summer comes along they seem to disappear, only to happily pop up again after the first winter rains. Luckily, if they are in a cool shady nook, they hang around all year.

Charlie + camera = show-off       Zam

A wonderful way to pass time         Zam

Nasturtiums not only keep pests off the edible goodies growing in your garden, but they are mighty fine edibles themselves. Pop a few in your sandwiches, toss them into a salad or a stir-fry, grind them into an amazing pesto, fashion a few ‘health grenades’ (http://theurbanhuntergatherer.blogspot.com/2012/08/the-evolution-of-health-grenade.html), make ‘capers’… the list is as long as your imagination can muster.

How can nasturtiums not brighten your day?                                                                                                                        Zam

With summer well on it’s way, the nasturtium flowers are turning to seed, so why ever not position yourself in a cheerful nasturtium patch and let the peppery smells and the warmth of the mild spring sun Zen you out, while you absent mindedly pick the seeds for your year’s supply of pickled ‘capers’.

Suburban foraged olives                 Zam

The flower turning to seed              Zam

Of course they are not real capers: real capers are the buds from a caper bush and not nasturtiums seeds, but you can use these in your kitchen as you would their Mediterranean counterparts.

Wynandt (a chef to keep an eye on) and I grabbing some fennel         Zam

What a shot. Only a single caper ended up on the floor                          Zam

Here is a little Pasta ‘Puttanesca’ recipe I made from our very own West Coast anchovies (courtesy of Chef Stef), my suburban foraged olives, my friends Jeremy and Gus’s nasturtium capers and a little foraged fennel. The dish was delicious and had lashings of character.

The lads in kitchen                       Zam

What You Need (serves 5)

About 5 anchovies

1 can of whole, peeled tomatoes, roughly chopped

1 tbsp of nasturtium capers

1 clove garlic chopped

1 chili (optional)

1 modest handful of olives (pips removed)

1 handful chopped fennel to garnish (parsley or basil is great too)

1 generous glug of olive

1 packet of spaghetti 500g

1 generous sprinkle of parmigiano per portion

What To Do

Get a pot of water with plenty of salt on the go for the pasta. While you are waiting for it to boil, chop the garlic and get rid of the olive pips. When the water starts to boil, throw in the spaghetti. Chuck the anchovies into a large pan with a glug of the olive oil, fry gently while breaking up the anchovies with a spoon. Add the garlic and soften, now chuck in the tomatoes, olives and capers and bring to a gentle bubble, while stirring occasionally. When the pasta is ‘al dente’, drain, add to the pan of yumminess, scatter in the chopped fennel and give the whole lot a good mix. Serve with plenty of parmigiano.

I couldn't wait to get stuck in                             Zam

Finally a massive thanks to Wynandt for the his pesto, foraging company and inspiration and to Zam for his amazing pics. Zam you are such a dude, dude.

A gentle bubble will reduce, intensify and infuse                                  Zam

Wynandts' awesome nasturtium pesto                                                        Zam

Nasturtium capers ready for the pan                                                         Zam