PIGS CAN FLY. PART TWO. (Not for vegetarians)

A medieval way of boiling water for pig hair removal (new to me)                                                                          Me

Phew!!! So much seems to have happened in the last two weeks. The most significant by far was the slaughtering of ‘Concita’, our beautiful pig. Neither Stef nor I had ever witnessed something quite like this before and it left both of us well and truly rattled. All we wanted, was to get the hell out of there, but there was work to be done, so with gagging constitutions and heavy hearts, we put the bit between our teeth and worked though that hot Monday ‘mourning’. It took a few days, before we could bare to take the next tentative step to making our Christmas Feast a reality.

A pensive Andre before the deed  Me

Our plan is to use as much of the pig as we possibly can. As I journey down this road, I’m amazed at how very useful a pig actually is. While Stef and I are and dealing in 'The Ministry of Edibles', Harry is the 'Minister of Health and Energy', as he is responsible for making soap and candles from the rendered lard. Of course there’s a mountain of other stuff that he is doing too.

One of the hardened boyz      Me

Martin is smoking the gammons, and the bones. He is also making pancetta with the neck. Having recovered from ‘the ugly monday ordeal,’ Stef and I have found our groove again. We have made a spicy consommé with the hocks and trotters, which will be the jelly for the terrine, we have also made black pudding, which was a major education, and very nerve racking trusting that the intestine wasn’t gonna spring a leak or even worse, burst, leaving the kitchen looking like a violent crime scene. I rendered even more fat, which we’ll use for the short crust pastry for our mince pies. Our menu is coming on rather well, I would say and this is what it looks like.

Rendering fat       Me

MENU (so far)

-       - Pigs Eyes -  (a fresh mulberry set in a limoncello jelly shot)

-       - Piggy Delectable’s - done on the braai (barbecue) which include sage, wild garlic chive and gooseberry sausage, together with crispy belly slices and ribs (by chef Andrew)

-       - Pate' on crostinni

-       - Tripe and Trotters (again Andrew)

-       - Cold Pea Soup – made from a clear stock from the smoked bones

-       - Terrine

-       - Glazed Christmas Gammon – glazed and decorated with fig preserve (wild figs collected right outside the venue) with my mothers Cumberland Sauce. Served with rosti, creamed ‘spinach’ (nettle, pumpkin tips, African spinach), local wild squash roasted and a cress and black pudding salad. (Nasturtiums will probably make their seasons finale curtain call)

-       - Mince Pies – a sweet short crust made from pig lard with currents, mulberries and sherry

The start of a savory jelly

Black Pudding

Cumberland Sauce 

So far this whole process has showed me how out of touch we (today’s urban society) are from what the processes and implications it takes to get food to our tables.

Finally, in spreading the word about this feast, I have been surprised at how many people will happily buy packaged bacon off the supermarket shelves and not consider what sort of life that pig has lived, yet the nature of our feast seems a little too brutal for their taste. At least we know Concita was loved and well looked after and we’ll be using all of her.

The fine ladz who really did the hard work, carrying a symbolic white coffin                                                     Me

(The ‘Pigs Can Fly’ Christmas Celebration will take place on 8 Dec in Tamboerskloof, Cape Town. For bookings please contact Harry on Vleisbook. Ooops! I mean Facebook at 'Harry’s Big Wine Adventure’ Facebook page or email Harry at harrymelck@gmail.com)

NOSTALGIA CRUMBLE

The ever comforting crumble.                                                                                            Mans

I just missed my gap to make a little something from mulberries last season and was determined not to miss out this year, which gave me nearly a year to ‘mull’ over wot to make. I asked heaps of people wot mulberries meant to them and it seemed that the little berries transported everyone back to their childhood, be it  silkworms or angry mothers moaning about purple stains on their clothes. My mulberry dish simply had to be something that is kid friendly. I really wanted to make a short crust mulberry pie, coz I wanted to use the name ‘Purple Finger Pie’, but making short crust pastry can be a little tricky, so I went for a crumble and the simplest one possible. The result was better then I could have ever have hoped for

Wot you need

2/3rds cake flour

1/3rd butter

A baking dish full of freshly plucked mulberries.

A shake of sugar 

                                                                                                         Wot to do

Don't skimp on the butter        Mans

No escaping purple fingers     Mans

If you know me, you’ll know, I’m not one for exact measurements, but let me try to guide you through my rather haphazard crumble method – Estimate the amount of flour that would generously cover the area of your baking dish and some. Now add half the flour amount of chopped cold butter, then sprinkle in some sugar, til it’s sweet enough for your taste. With your hands work the butter into the flour and sugar mix til it’s all crumbly. Pop the crumble mix in a pre-heated oven at about 180 degrees c for about 5 mins. This gives it an extra crunchy edge.

Ok, I threw a sliced apple, just because.                                      Mans

Now onto the mulberry part - Pull out those little green stems from every berry, it might take some time, but it’s important that you really focus and get completely absorbed in the moment, just as a kid would and before you know it you have a dish full of the deep purple nuggets ready for sugaring. Shake sugar over the mulberries. This is when I get out of ‘kid mode’ for just a moment, coz I like to have that mouth puckering tartness to my crumble, but if you want to express your inner child, shake that sugar packet a bit or a lot longer. By the time you have done all of this, your blind baked crumble should long ago be out the oven. Cover your dish of mulberries and sugar with the crumble and pop in the oven til the crumble is golden brown and purple lava bubbles through the crumble around the edges, and if you are really lucky you might get an odd purple geyser bursting through other parts of the crumble. Serve hot with pouring cream, custard or ice cream.

Yum...                                                                                                                                                                                Mans

PIGS CAN FLY (so can cars) - PART 1

Mans, this blog sites main photographer, doing his paying job. Here he is, directing the crane drivers for our rig, that we designed and installed for Gravitron Effects.                                                                                               Me with iPhone 

'The Mans' posing of me, for once.        Me

Before we get started on food, I must first apologies for getting this blog out a few days late. ‘SORRY MAN.’

This is my lame excuse. As I’m sure you can imagine, I spend heaps of time dealing with food related stuff, like this blog, shooting video blogs, making a promo and treatment for a TV cooking series, writing my cookbook, organizing ‘Urban Feasts’ (this blog is about an up coming one), looking after my little herb and veggie garden, foraging, and just simply cooking. That all adds up to A LOT of time, from which I’m yet to earn a cent. So at some stage I have to earn a buck, and thatz zactly wot I woz doing that kept me from posting this blog, until now. Mans, who has taken most of the fantastic pics for ‘The Urban Hunter Gatherer’ blog is also my business partner and we make our living by flying people and props for the live entertainment and film industries. This week we have had to leave the kitchen and head onto set, to make a real live Roll Royce ‘fly’ into a swimming pool.

Now onto cooking stuff -

Stef, Harry and I (The Urban Feast Team) are well into the throws of planning our third event. We never really planned the first two, opportunities just happened to present themselves, so like all opportunistic hunter gatherers, we went for it. Now another opportunity has presented itself, so again we are going for it.

Andre - a scholar, a gentleman, an artist and a 'father' to many.                                                                               Mans

Martin of 'Cured'  Mans

Andre has a farm (a property owned by the military and managed by The Department of Public Works) not much more then a 10minute walk from the very centre of Cape Town. I first heard about Andre when I lived in the Bokaap, a vibrant residential area in the heart of the city. I knew about Andre, because his cow, Daisy and a handful of goats used to graze on the open plot right in front of my house, so when I enquired about this unusual occurrence, everybody smiled and said, ‘Oh, they are just Andre’s.’ Everyone seems to know Andre.

Years later and living in a different part of town, I decided that I too wanted to know Andre, especially now that I had started writing The Urban Hunter Gatherer blog. When I met him I immediately warmed to him, it’s near impossible not to. He has a huge white beard and an even bigger heart. Andre kindly showed me around and pointed out plenty of stuff that I was welcome to forage. (The figs from my last blog were foraged at ‘the farm’)

Stef from 'Sprung'  Mans

Andre is hugely important in the community. The local residents bring their organic food waste to him, which becomes pig food and compost; and their garden foliage becomes goat food and compost, so he is effectively dealing with heaps of residential organic waste in the most environmentally friendly way possible. But the most important service that Andre provides, is the foster care he offers to disadvantaged and homeless people. He is a father to many. He puts roofs over heads, feeds empty stomachs and looks after elderly folk in the area. Then there are a whole lot of other amazing things about the man, that I won’t go into now.

Anyhow, I believe I’m a spiritual being, but don’t subscribe to any religion and certainly don’t put any religion above another, but by its nature and its timing, it would make sense that The Third Urban Feast should be a 

Christmas celebration, as the menu will exclude Muslims, Jews, Hindus and others. You see, we plan to slaughter one of Andres’ pigs and feed 50 people with her. We will show her our respect by using as much of her as possible, even down to using her fat as fuel for lighting.

The Lads plotting their next move.         Mans

For our feast, we hope that every course on the menu, including pudding will include pig. It sounds outrageous, but we hope that the food will be very accessible to all those who indulge in pig. Martin from ‘Cured’ will look after the curing, smoking and sausaging, while Stef from ‘Sprung’ will head up the kitchen. Other chefs will also be presenting their courses. It is gotta be a huge team effort to make this event a success, but right now I’m thinking, ‘WOT THE HELL ARE WE DOING?’

Concita                              Mans

GREEN FIG PRESERVE

As soon as I switched into hunter-gatherer mode, I became aware of how many fig trees are lurking about in Cape Town. Now, from my understanding a fig tree bears fruit twice a year and that’s in spring and then again during the hottest part of summer. So in Cape Town, that’ll be October and the end of January. I would assume fig trees behave the same in the northern hemisphere. (‘Same same, but different’). I imagine the first fruiting of northern figs would be round about April while the second would be July/August. (Somebody please correct me if I’m talking shite). Anyhow, the first figs of the season, never really ripen, so they are rubbish for the table or for chomping out of the hand, but these are the figs that are perfect for preserving. Check out the video blog to see how I do it. There are definitely more precise recipes, but this way works fine for me, coz I never know how many figs I’ll be bringing home.

How Biblical ?                                                                      Me

Wot you need.

A bundle of green figs (I go for the smaller ones)

A sprinkling of slaked lime

A goodly amount of sugar

Water

If you want you can add sliced ginger, allspice or cinnamon to your syrup mixture and even a little brandy at the bottling stage. Be as clever as you want, but beware of being too clever for you own good.

The first figs of the season never ripen                        Mans

Wot to do

Cut the stem of each fig below the 'joiny type thingy', give it a bit of a scrub with a nailbrush, cut a shallow cross at the bottom, place in a bowl, sprinkle with a little slaked lime, cover with water, place a plate over the bowl with a weight on (a can of something does just fine) so all the figs are submerged and leave to soak overnight. The next day, give the little fellows a good rinse, pop em into a generous sized pot, cover with water and bring to the boil. Let them simmer just long enough so the skin punctures easily when you stab them with a toothpick. Drain the water, then do an eyeball measurement of the level of the drained figs. Remove figs from the pot, and pour in water to more or less the level of the figs, then measure the water and add the same amount of sugar e.g. If it’s four cups of water then add four cups of sugar. Bring your syrup to the boil and gently add the figs. Simmer for about two and a half hours, until the figs are glossy right though and your syrup has reduced by about a third. Bottle in sterilized jars and seal while hot. Save any extra syrup for, ice cream, yoghurt and sponge cake toppings, for smoothies or for my Damn Fine Granola recipe. (see blog archives).

Green Fig Preserve and Cheese are a perfect chomp for anytime, anywhere                                                                Mans